Nepal has left me speechless. The Nepalese are quite a beautiful people. They are decent and polite to foreigners. Their eyes, deep and intense. They need to know Jesus. I think everyone from the group could sense it as well. Charmaine brought up a good point when she said that there was so much more for them than just living and working to survive. Nothing much bad about them other than their devilish driving and the incessant horning on the roads.

I think I'm beginning to understand being in the grace of God and relying totally on His strength. There were things that could never have been done without Him. So many things that could have gone wrong, people who could have gotten hurt and people who could have gotten lost. But He made everything turn out right.

On the first night, after shopping for sleeping bags, some of us wanted to go to buy some bottles of water and snacks. So there were 8 of us who split into 2 taxis to go to the supermarket. But when we reached the supermarket, the taxi with Keith, Elissa, Georgina and Nathalie had not arrived. Gloria and I were slightly panicky and we were praying individually that nothing would go wrong. After 30 minutes of waiting, walking and searching, we saw them trudging up to us holding grocery bags in their hands. Their taxi driver had dropped them at the wrong supermarket. Thank God that before we got on the taxis, we were joking about the the location of the supermarket and it made them remember the name. God is good!

On the 2nd day, we were on the bus up to Phulbari and we ran out of fuel. So we were stranded in the middle of the road halfway up. We could have gotten frustrated and irritated at the bus drivers but I really praise God that the team stayed positive. We had our first glimpse of the Himalyan skyline because of that incident. We climbed up onto a plateau where we could enjoy the scenery while waiting for the driver's assistant to fetch petrol. I believe that even when things go wrong because of man's foolishness, God turns it around for our benefit.

They had a church service on Thursday because that was their day off. Church was just a small dark room at the back of their store / cooking area. We could not all fit in. I loved it when they started to worship God. It was like tribal rhythmic singing. Just voices with a single percussion instrument. But the presence of God was fantastic. There was this one little boy, the evangelist's son singing his heart out. A beautiful passionate voice.

The times of worship in Nepal were heavenly. Peter put it the best in Acts 10:34.

Truly I understand that God shows no partiality,
but in every nation anyone who fears him
and does what is right is acceptable to him.

The word fear means to be in awe, to show heartfelt respect or in modern day terms, it simply means to worship. There was such a strong anointing for renewal and for the nation of Nepal in our prayers and worship. I remember Georgina leading us in a fantastic time in His presence. God showed us in verses like Psalms 95:1-5 and Isaiah 40:28-31 the depth of His grace and strength. It would be the recurring theme for the entire trip. It is my prayer that the grace and strength of God be visible constantly in my life. That means never again relying on my own efforts. Never again trying to achieve but always accomplishing for His Glory.

I pray that just like the sunrise in the mountains. The glory of God will shine through me and many others into the full glory of His return. I pray that His glory will illuminate the beauty in others and in me. Beauty is seen when things around reflect the sunlight. Father in all I do, it is your light that has to be seen. That is utmost.

~~~ You are faithful ~~~
Lord of all the earth
how You care for me
You have made me
You will save and carry me always

You are faithful
Your joy is my strength

Lord You are my God
I rely on You
I put my hope in things not seen
Your promises all true

Always You’re with me
Your hand will lift me
My trust is in Your hands
| Hillsong - Saviour King |

I meant to blog about this sooner but the Nepal fundraising event in church and Facebook have been taking up much of my time. Poor excuses, I know.

I wanted to go into more detail about what the Lord showed me about Psalms 63 almost a month ago in prayer school. It occurred to me that by grouping verse 1 & verse 5, verses 2 & 6, verses 3 & 7, verses 4 & 8, we would get a clearer picture of what the Holy Spirit was trying to communicate. Written by David in the wilderness of Judah, you can hear the cry in his words.

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Look at the words used to communicate his desire. The word translated as "Earnestly" or "Early" seems to describe a desperate need that can only be satisfied by constant, relentless waiting on Him. The closest I may have come to that feeling is after a soccer match in the heat of the afternoon. Where you feel that every cell in your body is screaming for hydration. Lynette asked a valid question during prayer meeting on Friday. She talked about being hungry for more of God. How many of us have experienced something like that? How many can truly say that we've thirsted till we've almost fainted?

Which brings me to the point.
My God is irresistible. More desirable than any treasure or jewellery.
Why is desire for God on such a low?
My God is limitless. He cannot be overdrawn, overtaxed, overwhelmed.
If you don't see a need for God, then you must not know God very well.
My God is huge. Bigger than any disaster, mishap, natural or otherwise.
If you knew my God, you would desire for more Him.

Its as logical as can be. Thats why movies have trailers, products have advertisements and superstars have posters. To inform about SOME of the things that we should expect. To give us a taste of things to come so as to WHET our appetite.

What is this dry and weary land with no water? Some people might answer, "Oh its when we're going through difficult times," or "When we're having the 'wilderness' experience," or some smarter people might try to say, "Any time that we're not in church."
To me, it is any moment apart from God. Any moment that we're not in His presence is a dry and weary place.

As I've mentioned before in the last post, verse 5 is like an immediate result of being in that position. When you earnestly desire Him it says that:

My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,

I don' t know about you, but I like seeing and being assured of the outcome. I will be satisfied and I will praise! Fat and rich food actually carries the meaning of abundance, to be blessed or to have the best of the land. There is a new testament equivalent in Matthew 5:6 which says:

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they shall be satisfied.

Verses 2 & 6 can be read together and would look like this:

So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
beholding your power and glory.
When I remember you upon my bed,
and meditate on you in the watches of the night;

We see here one of the keys of tapping on the promise of satisfaction. Notice here that looking, beholding, remembering, meditating are basically the same thing. Immerse yourself in knowledge about God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Think about the things you learnt in prayer meeting, speak freely with Him throughout the day, ponder about the things of God during your meal times, thank Him for His promises before you sleep. I used to think that doing so would render one irrelevant to the world. But nothing could be further from the truth! This is what the world needs! The world is crying out for people who truly know God and can guide them into His presence.

We know from 1 John 4:8, 16 that God is Love. 1 John 4:9 says that through Jesus Christ, love was made manifest, or love appeared! So when verse 3 & 6 speaks about God's steadfast love, it is actually speaking about Jesus.

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
my lips will praise you.
for you have been my help,
and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.

His steadfast love is better than life! His steadfast love, Jesus, has been my help! My lips will praise Jesus and in the shadow of his wings, I will sing for joy. Why? Because Jesus is better than life. As Jesus says in John 10:10(KJV), "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Jesus is life.
What prevents us from drawing closer to Him?

So I will bless you as long as I live;
in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me.

Verse 8 talks about clinging to Jesus. I feel that this English word doesn't do the original justice. The same word is used to describe the relationship between a man and his wife in Genesis 2:24. Some translations use the word "cleave to". This verse is then quoted 4 times in the New Testament by Jesus and Paul. (Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7; 1 Corinthians 6:16; Ephesians 5:31)
It would mean that our relationship with God could be compared to a loving, pure, healthy, sexual union between a man and a woman.
There is also a sweet connection between the second lines of both verses. As I lift up my hands in His Name, He upholds me in His right hand! Isn't that beautiful?

If we want to be satisfied more deeply, we must desire Him so much more.
If we want to desire Him more, we must know Him so much more.
If we want to know Him more, we must be carried away by His Word.

And Daryl entered into a covenant to seek the LORD, the God of his fathers, with all his heart and with all his soul, and Daryl rejoiced over the oath, for he had sworn with all his heart and had sought Him with his whole desire, and He was found by Daryl, and the LORD gave him rest all around.
| 2 Chronicles 15:12,14,15 |

This verse is encouraging me so much. This weekend has been spiritually and physically draining. Its not that I can't take the pressure. I've not been given anything new to handle. Its more like I'm not used to being challenged on so many fronts. I'm not doubting the Word of God and I don't think I'm lacking in faith. Its times like this, you just wish that Jesus would show up. If you spend the whole week 'serving' and then feel so far from Him, you begin to wonder. Am I really serving Him in the first place?

Maybe this is where the training really starts. This is where the rubber hits the road. Putting into practice the things that I've learnt. Its not the activities that I need to focus on completing, lessons that i need to focus on teaching, points and ideas which I need to get across. The focus should be to search after God with all my desire. Only then is there a true rest.

Psalms 63:1 --> O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

Do you see the level of desire? As if I would die without it.

Psalms 63:5 --> My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food, and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips.

This is the result of that desire. Satisfaction.
I don't mean to be disrespectful to God in any way. But honestly? I am not satisfied yet.

Don't waste time. Don't waste time! These words echo within me almost everyday now. Ephesians 5:16 says:
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. (ESV)

There is a sense of urgency that stirred up within me when I read that. How does one not waste time? Ephesians 5:8 says that we are the light of the Lord. Paul asks us to walk as children of light!

Sounds simple enough doesn't it? But what does it mean to walk as a child of the light? Verse 1 and 2 of chapter 5 puts it simply enough. Like beloved children, be imitators of God AND walk in love the way Jesus loves us. How does one imitate God? Imitate means to follow, or to copy in action. So it simply means to act like Jesus!

The previous chapter (ch 4) and verse 22-23 talks about the proper way to behave as a child of light. Get rid of the old self and all its nastiness! PUT ON YOUR NEW SELF, which is the very image and likeness of God! Righteous and Holy! Act it out, play the part, fit the role. Don't let the devil deceive you into feeling as if it was hypocritical! Thats my God! Beaming with pride like a father seeing his son, the groom, walking confidently down the aisle in a sharp new suit. Thats what God sees in us when we put on His gift of righteousness and redemption.

What do the words, "Don't waste time" mean to me?
It means learning as much as I can about Him through His Word. It means finding out as much as I can about Him. Not just to know for the sake of knowledge. But so that I can worship Him all the more. For example, the more I find out about His love, the more amazed I am because of that love. And the more amazed I am, the more I want my life to be an ongoing worship to Him. The opposite is true. You cannot worship who you don't know.

~~~ You are awesome ~~~
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God
You are awesome in this place, Abba Father
You are worthy of our praise
to You our lives we raise
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (NKJV)

Confess Your Sins And Be Saved
I’ve often heard this verse being quoted whenever we were leading people to the Lord. I was taught to share this verse with unbelievers during street evangelism. The aim was to get them to confess all their sins before they could be saved. This was what I understood about salvation. I used to hold to the belief that I had to confess my sins constantly to stay forgiven.

This verse has been the topic of much debate in my cell group and among my friends. It stems from the interpreting the phrase “If we confess our sins,” as a qualifier for God’s forgiveness and cleansing.

However, if we look at other scriptures from the bible, we see that there is no requirement for an unbeliever to confess their sins before salvation can take place. There seems to be no New Testament scripture which supports confessing sins as a means to stay saved.

According to Romans 10:9-10, 13
…that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
For “whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.”

It is clearly stated that salvation requires confession of Jesus as Lord and believing that God has raised Him from the dead. The confession stated here is not confession of sin but a confession of Jesus. We can also see another example from when Paul and Silas were talking to the Philippian Jailer.

“Sirs, what must I do to be saved?” So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.”
Acts 16:30-31

Who Does 1 John 1:9 Apply To?
First of all, from the context of the epistle, we can see that 1 John was addressed to believers. John refers to the recipients of the letter as “my little children” and teaches them to walk in the light and to beware of anti-christs. According to Merrill C. Tenney in the book New Testament Survey, "…the most acceptable view is that these documents were written by John for the Asian churches in the middle of the last third of the century."

The question which then arises, is there a need for Christians to keep confessing their sins? What happens to unconfessed sin? Do we become unforgiven or unrighteous again?

For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:17 (NLT)

But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God, waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet. For by a single offering he has perfected for all time those who are being sanctified.
Hebrews 10:11-14 (NKJV)

These scripture do not seem to agree with that stand.

The book of 1 John seems to carry a paternal tone to it and the tone of this verse is constant with the rest of the book. It seems that John is trying to reassure and advise the readers of the forgiveness and their righteousness. The Amplified Version seems to bring across this reassurance.

But if we really are living and walking in the Light, as He Himself is in the Light, we have true, unbroken fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses or removes us from all sin and guilt. He keeps us cleansed from sin in all its forms and manifestations. (AMP)
1 John 1:9

We see here how a wrong interpretation of scripture and taking things out of context of the rest of the bible can cause wrong teachings to surface.

Praise God!! After about a year and about S$1,300, I have passed my driving test. By many people's standards, this is about 6 years too late. But I believe this is just a step in God's plan of unleashing many more blessings in my life.

I led worship during church service for the first time on Sunday. It was quite an experience. There was definitely God's grace present during the worship. Still trying to figure out the finer details like flowing specifically with His direction during the praise and worship, as well as other technical and musical things. It has definitely been a fantastic experience. Most importantly, God did show up!

G . R . A . C . E

"But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him.
God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth."
| John 4:23-24 |

This scripture has been hitting me over and over in ways that I've never seen before. I've heard this verse quoted so often and so pointlessly that it seems that we've lost the impact of it. The Greek word translated as 'worship' in this verse is 'proskuneo'. And it means to prostrate, or to revere, or to adore. This brings to mind the scene of Mary at the feet of Jesus, anointing them with perfume. This is adoration, this is worship.

Who are those who worship him?
I am.

The simplicity of the verse hit me during prayer school today. God is spirit and I MUST worship Him. Not an obligation... but a yearning. Not because its a requirement, but because I love to. I just have to worship Him simply because God is. Israel Houghton put is best when he said, "Birds fly... fishes swim... I worship..."

Its a given that true worshippers must worship and spirit and in truth. So the way I see the verse is "God is... (amazing, awesome, fantastic) And I just have to worship..."

Another verse that hit me, also on the area of worship is Romans 4:20.
"No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God"

'Glory' is translated 'doxa'
A Greek lexicon defines it as dignity, glory(-ious), honour, praise, worship.

This was referring to Abraham and the promise that he would be "Father of Many Nations". Worship is what helped him. As we glorify God, it helps us magnify Him. Our worship strengthens our faith. It strengthens our belief in the promises of God and causes us to be stable.

This term has been a hectic one. And it has made me realise the possibility of letting the depth of the teaching at bible school just pass me by. I've been seriously contemplating quitting my job at Kumon so as to free up more time to study the Word and to serve in church. But then, all sorts of questions pop up in my mind. How am I going to support myself? How can I afford to stop work?
And the most important question of all or rather the only question that really matters...
Is this what God wants me to do?
If it is, then the other questions don't matter any more.

Another first for me this school term attending two funerals. It gave me a lot of things to contemplate. But I praise God for opportunities to be there for friends and family.

School has been fun. I'm really enjoying my time there especially during prayer school. I've been heavily involved in worship for this semester, but it seems i'm scheduled to play percussions on most days. I would really love to lead worship more often but at the end of the day, its the needs of the school which outweigh my desires. Its through times in worship that I sense an anointing and a grace to serve in this area. This is an area which I really wanna learn and improve in.

~~~ You Are ~~~
You are my light and salvation,whom shall i fear?
You are the strength of all my days, of whom shall i be afraid?
Though war may rise against me, of this i will be sure.

CHORUS
That i shall bless the lord for ever,
I'll bless your holy name
Yes I will bless the lord for ever ,
I'll bless your holy name.
Hillsong - Hope

These two weeks of school have just whizzed by like a bullet. Classes have been beneficial but I still feel that there's something deeper that I'm not getting or understanding. I'm not talking about the lessons... I'm talking about an underlying thought or purpose which I know I have but just doesn't seem to emerge. But then again, the reason why its not clear could be due to the my busyness or simply my lack of discipline to "just sit at the feet of Jesus".

There have been certain issues weighing on my mind recently.
Been praying for Uncle Jimmy and his family.
I thank God, who always leads us to triumph.

The 40DOP campaign in church and the cell group is now in full swing.
I thank God for deeper relationships forged with God through Christ Jesus.

My driving test is in 2 weeks time.
I thank God for the ability given to me to drive well. I thank God for the grace and favour shown to me from instructors, the tester, and motorists.

I'm leading the praise & worship session in church service for the first time in 2 weeks time.
Praise God for helping me and granting me the opportunity to realise a dream even without my asking for it. Once again, I praise God for the ability and the anointing to lead His people.

I praise God for providing ALL that I need to achieve His purpose in my life. I have the grace to go through bible school receiving the FULLEST possible impartation. I have the ability to serve with my entire being in places where I have been called. I thank God for the wisdom to understand truth from the Word of God and for the ability to recognise Him at work.

Its probably because I fell sick the night before school restarted, but it feels as if I barely made it through the school break. Did I fully utilise my time away from bible school? Did I serve Him with the best of my ability? What good have I actually done? And my oft-repeated reminders to myself, What have I learnt?

I'm quickly recovering from all symptoms of the sickness. I intend to be fully well tomorrow morning. Its time to stop wasting time. One thing I want to get from God this semester is a specific direction for 2008. Its time for doors to be opened.

~~~ To Worship You I Live ~~~
Away away from the noise
alone with you
away away to hear your voice
and meet with you
nothing else matters my one desire is

To worship you I live
I live to worship you
| Israel and New Breed - Live in South Africa |

I was in pretty high spirits when I went to visit my Uncle Jimmy today. I thought it would be a simple time of praying and encouraging. But when I looked into the room where he was in, I thought it was another person. The person I saw looked nothing like my uncle whom I had visited a couple of weeks before. His frame was thin and dishevelled, his cheeks sunken, his eyes showing disorientation. And I was stunned. Honestly, I was frightened... and fear kept trying to creep into my thoughts. Thoughts of my parents, my life, my beliefs shot through my mind.

It was a few minutes before I managed to pull myself together and my family and I began to pray in the spirit for him. I couldn't have prayed any other way. Words fail you in situations like these. Thank God for the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. Thank God for my family who each began to speak Scripture to Uncle Jimmy. Lynette was praying God's promises for him and claiming victory for the whole situation and we were agreeing together as a family.

It was at this point when I felt God speaking to me to lay hands on Uncle Jimmy. God brought to my remembrance Luke 4:18-19
The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind
To set at liberty those who are oppressed; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD

To set free those who are oppressed. Those who are suffering and those in need of healing. Thats when I saw in my mind, Uncle Jimmy's head being held in hands. I saw his brain being filled out and restored. I felt my hands grow warm and I knew that I had to go over and touch him. And when I did, I felt God's healing compassion and love simply rush through me and into Uncle Jimmy. Tears began to roll down and I knew again that his time was not up, his work was not done. I saw every fibre of his being restored. And after we finished praying, there was a sense of peace in the room. There was even a change in the countenance of Uncle Jimmy as he fell asleep soundly once we starting praying. I could recognise him again.

"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

This victory is not only reserved for heaven but here on earth as well. Uncle Jimmy, I look forward to seeing you preach again.

Let me start off with a quote from a book I'm currently reading. "The HEART of the ARTIST" by Rory Noland.

... this is one of the biggest differences between performing and ministry. I've seen many professional entertainers try to approach ministry the same way they've always approached performing.

Performance is entertainment. You have to own the stage. You have to appear self-confident and enthusiastic. It doesn't matter if you're going through a deep personal crisis. The show must go on. You have to put it all behind you and step onstage and wow everybody one more time.

Ministry, on the other hand, is not entertainment. Instead of pretence, there is authenticity -- we need to be real onstage. Instead of working hard to whip up confidence, we need to be humble. Ministry demands that we allow the Holy Spirit to own the stage.

It is not easy to keep checking your heart to see what our attitude or intentions are but that is exactly what we have to do. And this doesn't just involve our attitude towards worship but towards everything that we do in life. Worship, as we so often hear, is more than just singing or getting everyone stirred up. Its not about putting a tear in congregation's eye. Its a form of expressing a lifestyle.
It is what happens when you really realise how BIG God is, how much He LOVES you and how much He has given.

Every attempt to worship has to begin from this understanding. There needs to be a capacity to recognise God's Love before we can receive God's Love. That is why John says in 1 John 4:7-12:
We -- we love him, because He -- He first loved us;

This is taken from Young's Literal Translation. You can almost imagine the way John would verbalise this. He pauses as if his breath is taken away by remembering the Love of Jesus. As if He had to compose himself before saying it. He had that understanding of Love. He realised that he was the disciple whom Jesus loved. This is the basis for all worship.

And my God will supply every need of mine according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.
To our God and Father be glory forever and ever.
Amen.
:: Philippians 4:19-20 ::

And He does it again. Thank you God.

Hello dear blog... Hello old friend. What have I learnt in my absence from the world of journalling? If anything, I've learnt the importance of journalling and its significance in my life. Life is far too complicated, too detailed, too romantic to simply experience in one shot. Its too brilliant, too rich in content, too intense to handle and process at any one time. That is why we have different forms of capturing media. The digital camera, the mp3 recorder, or even in the more primitive forms. The pencil and paper.

Why has mankind come up with all these devices? My opinion is that mankind has been looking for a way to extend life ever since man got separated from God. We've been searching for the "fountain of youth". And media provides a way to capture the instances in life which take our breath away. The moments which we enjoy. We try to prolong these moments by talking about them, by reminiscing or critiquing them. Why do we do it? Because these are the moments which make time stop for us. Praise God for these moments... It is as if He places these things just for us to enjoy and just to give life and strength to our souls. I just need to take time to think about His love and it just amazes me. It takes my breath away. That is is why I worship Him. Because He gives me so much to experience, so much to learn.

Recently, we've been learning a lot about the book of Jonah during cell group and one key characteristic I've learnt about God is His grace. Whenever you turn back to Him, He's still willing to use you. Even when you feel that you are not deserving of His blessings, He continues to bless.

One of the things I hear Him saying to me whenever I feel unworthy.
"Get over yourself!!! Get up from that pit of self-pity and get to work on what I've intended for you. Self-abasement is just a waste of time. It gives Me no glory for you to remain in that state. Encourage yourself in Me."

Indeed, God has been opening doors for me. Choices laid before me that excite me. Naturally, I would shy away from things which I don't have a clue on how to achieve. But things that God shows me, He puts in me the desire to learn and do. God amazes me.

These past few weeks have been an immense learning experience for me. Learning from God and about God. It wouldn't be humanly possible to learn so much in so many areas in such a short time, but with God, all things are possible. Its true! He just made the "impossibles" happen in mine! Just being in obedience unlocks new learning material! The blessings just come when I act out what I have learnt. Whether it is regarding believing God for finances, walking in divine health or simply practising righteousness, it just amazes me how good God is.

Recently I've been troubled with a stiff back and it didn't go away with after praying what I would call regular prayer. So while I was on the MRT to city hall, I decided to meditate on Isaiah 53:4-5 (ESV) and get it into my spirit.

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.
But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.

In my bible, I had written beside the words griefs and sorrow, the words pains and sickness, respectively. These words are closer to the original Hebrew meanings. I also began reading 1 Peter 2:24 (ESV)

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

When I was reading this verse, I began to take notice of the phrase "that we might die to sin and live to righteousness". It brought to mind the theme for our church's youth camp.
"Dead to Sin. Alive in Christ".
Jesus died that we might die to sin. Why do translators use the word "might"? It brought across the impression that Jesus death is not final. It seems as if there is an uncertainty in that phrase.

But looking at other scripture like Romans 6:6-11 says that our old selves have died with Christ and that sin has been brought to nothing. We're dead to sin, once and for all.
2 Corinthians 5:21 says that God made Jesus to be sin so that we might become the righteousness of God.
Its all very clear and distinct. No confusion there. So back to 1 Peter 2:24. Why the use of the word "might"?

The answer that came to me was "choice". Jesus died so that we might die to sin. Jesus came that we may have life and have it abundantly. Jesus came to give us the option. Does that mean that all in church have taken hold of the abundant life? Or that all those in church have all died to sin? But we have it! If we would only take hold of what we have.

Romans 3:22 says that the righteousness of God is obtained through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. Choose!
1 Timothy says that all Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness. We are righteous! But there needs to be a training of righteousness by using the the Word of God.

I started off with Isaiah 53 and got carried away into the study of righteousness. I was so blessed by this reminder and praise God, by the time I reached city hall, my back was healed. Just another example of the 'multi-purpose' power of the Word.

As I was walking to Bukit Merah interchange, feeling good that I had gotten the evening off from work to go home to complete my readings, I met one of the Kumon students on the his way to class. He was just the tiniest boy, maybe about 4 years old. He was walking with his mother and carrying the Kumon 'fish' folder in his hand. It was at that moment that he recognised me and loudly exclaimed, "Mummy, ni(2) kan(4) Kumon lao(3) shi(1)!" which means "Mummy, Look at the Kumon teacher!"
And that put a big smile on my face. He said it with such enthusiasm and happiness that joy just filled my soul. I don't care who you are, recognition like that is always welcome. It feels good to be an influencing factor in the lives of these children.

But on to spiritual things. I praise God for the finished work of the cross! Praise God for my righteousness in Jesus Christ. But I know there is something deeper than this. Lord, open my eyes. Give me greater understanding!

~~~ Open My Eyes ~~~
Saviour of my soul
I worship You as God alone
Greater love has made a way to You

I could not forget
The moment I in faith confessed
For my sin You died and rose again

I believe every word You say
Father God with all my heart I sing

Open my eyes
I want to see Your glory, Your glory Lord
I open my ears
I want to be closer, closer to You

Here I am again
I find my strength in drawing near
You have heard the desperate cry in me

And as I wait on You my God
I’ll know the voice of truth
In quietness I am in awe
And as I worship You my Lord
I understand the cross
The sacrifice of God
| Hillsong - Mighty To Save |

If I really think hard about it, I can remember the whole atmosphere that the church was in. Back in those days, I remember how the entire environment was changed because of the presence of God. You couldn't say that I had any understanding whatsoever of spiritual things. I had no knowledge or ability to express how I felt. But as a little boy, I vividly remember experiencing His presence. I recall the feel of the cheap, rough carpet under my body. I remember the way it felt as I lay there in some hotel conference room. The rest of the adults oblivious to what I was going through.

As I traced the patterns of the carpet with my fingers, little did I realise what God was doing for me. He was tracing His plan and fusing His character with mine. Formed even before there was any trace or thought of my existence. Oh yes! Even without my understanding, He was filling me with His Spirit. Waiting for the time where my understanding would catch up with my spirit. Waiting for me to take hold of what I had.

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.
Ephesians 2:10

I like the phrasing in the English Standard Version of Romans 8:28
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
The Amplified version says God being a partner in their labor all things work together and are fitting into a plan for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His design and purpose.

I think many of us love God. The question that remains is, how do we know if we're called? How do we know whether God has a purpose for me?
The bible says in Jeremiah 29:11. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
In Ephesians 4, Paul speaks about each person in the body of Christ having a role to play.

I was reading Exodus 35:31-35 last week. And the Words of God through Moses really hit me hard. I will retell it as it spoke to me.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
God has filled me with the Spirit of God. The power of the Holy Spirit! He has anointed me with skill, intelligence, with knowledge. With all that is necessary for the job thats laid before me. Not just the minimum requirements but the ability to do an excellent job. To make beautiful work, music or words with high quality.

For the work that He has called me into, He has inspired me to learn and teach. HE has filled me with skill, artistic talent, imagination, words, ideas, plans, details to fulfill my calling. He has given me the ability to inspire others to find and carry out their plans as well.

As easily as I have received the Holy Spirit through salvation. As easily as I have been filled to the overflowing, with power of the Holy Spirit, I am just as easily anointed to do His will. With boldness and conviction, confidence and strength.
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Retreat (noun)
A place affording peace, quiet, privacy, or security.
A period of seclusion, retirement, or solitude.
A period of group withdrawal for prayer, meditation, or study: a religious retreat.

I am so refreshed from the wonderful 3 days at Desaru. We stayed at Pulai Springs Beach Resort, a beautiful hotel with its own beach. It was 3 fulfilling days spent in the presence of God. I don't just mean when we entered the conference room for the sessions. But I think all of us had an awareness of how the presence of God simply infiltrated the entire hotel. Samuel, one of my year 2 schoolmates, captured the feeling best when we were praying together as a group beside the beach. He said that it was a privilege to be praying beside the sea with the sound of its crashing waves. And so we sat there praying for an hour in the spirit. Beautiful.

Psalms 29:3-4
The voice of the LORD is over the waters; The God of glory thunders; The LORD is over many waters.
The voice of the LORD is powerful; The voice of the LORD is full of majesty.

I think the next best part was being able to play and worship God. In my mind, I was thinking, what an honour to be serving in this ministry and worshiping with all these "spiritual heavyweights". Of course, God quickly got my attention off them and back on Him. Its such a joy to worship Him.

All throughout the first 2 days, I was telling God that I wanted a Word from Him through the Coopers. (They were a couple, the guest speakers for the retreat) God was telling me that I didn't need a Word, that I already have the battle plan. But I told Him that I wanted an confirmation, or rather an encouragement that I was on the right track. So when it was my turn to be prayed for, it didn't surprise me that all that was mentioned were the same things that I've gotten from God before. There were 2 things however, that were new to me. These were regarding anointing and restoration. Such words of comfort. I had been hearing people saying that I was anointed before but I never really accepted it. Having heard it from God makes it so much more believable.

And so the key topic for this retreat is praying in the spirit. For a greater anointing and greater power. Oh the number of things that can be achieved when we let God use us even when we pray.

A prayer from the Heart
Father I want to bring Daryl before you. I ask that You grant him Your spirit of wisdom and revelation every day, every time he reads Your Word, I pray that he will learn something new and You will give him a a fresh revelation.

Lord, I thank You that he has a teachable heart, and I know that You are gonna use that and teach him many things because his heart is so open to you, and I know that you will also use him to impart all the wonderful things he has learnt to others who need to hear it. I know and I declare that he will do great things for you, and I pray that you continue to grant him enough light for every single step that he takes with you, as he follows your leading and as you take him to higher levels, one at a time.

Father I also pray that you will increase his boldness. You know that he has a desire to reach out to the lost, to share the gospel and bring people to You. I ask that you will really help him to step out of his personality! That he will be filled with boldness and declare your gospel aloud!

We know that Your Word is powerful and speaks for itself, it's not the words we use or how well we speak but Your word is living and it transforms people and so we thank you that we dont have to rely on ourselves to reach out to other people and be afraid of saying the wrong things or looking stupid, but we can rely on you as your Holy Spirit gives us the words to say.

I pray that Daryl will be so in tune with the Holy Spirit, every single second of his life, in all the decisions he makes, the situations he faces. He will do as you guide him. I also pray that you keep Daryl from temptation and protect him from any accidents or harm that the devil might want to put in his way as he goes to Desaru until Wednesday. I ask that it will be a time of refreshing for him. During this time he will learn so much from you and have such intimate times with you. I pray that he will come back different! Changed and convicted by the Holy Spirit in new areas of his life no longer the same but changed forever for you!

We thank you in advance for all our prayers , that although we cant see them by our eyes, we believe by faith that you have heard and have answered! We rejoice in advance for all the wonderful things you are doing and are going to do in Daryl's life and we pray all these in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.

I seem to have had a revelation today while I was walking home from the MRT and it makes me happy! I think I'm going to shock some people in the near future. I've had some setbacks regarding the last post where I mentioned my desire to become bolder and more radical for the Lord. Isn't it just like the devil to come and try to discourage and disappoint you when you're making a decision to glorify God? Isn't it just like the devil to come and try to condemn you for not being able to carry out that decision?

So often we're being deceived into thinking that our actions are bad because they don't fit into the culture that we're in. I think I'm tired of having people dictate what I am and what I'm permitted to do. And very often, condemnation comes because we fail to live up to people's expectations. In 1 Corinthians 10:29, Paul asks For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience?" I'm not saying that we lower the standards. I'm saying that we raise them to please the only One whose opinion matters. When you follow after Christ, you're bound to step on some people's toes. Again I'm not saying that you go out of your way to offend others. But I just realised tonight that I've been trapped in people's opinions and judgements. Fear of condemnation. No more of that for me.

Luke 4:18-19
The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind.
To set at liberty those who are oppressed; To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.

Jesus purchased my freedom on the cross. Romans 8:1 says "...no more condemnation to those who are IN CHRIST JESUS!"
2 Corinthians 3:17 says "...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty!"

In Proverbs 19:12 and 20:2, it says "The wrath of a King is like a roaring lion."
We all know that God is the "Lion of Judah" and the "King of Kings". And many of us think that God rebukes or disciplines us by condemning us. But that is not the case!

1 Peter 5:8 says "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."
The devil prowls around like a roaring lion. The father of lies tries to imitate the only true and living God. He tries to mislead people into thinking that God's anger is on them. In short, the devil tries to bring condemnation where there should be none. If the devil cannot stop us from getting saved, he's going to try to get us to become ineffective. What better way for him to do that than making the Christian feel sinful and unworthy?

The truth is, God does not condemn us anymore. There are no consequences of sin to bear from God. The wrath of God has already been exhausted on the glorious Jesus Christ. The consequences of sin have been paid for in full. Thats the beauty of the gospel.

John 3:17-18
"For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. He who believes in Him is not condemned..."

There's an awkwardness when I come to blog now. I'm in the process of changing and trying to incorporate something into my lifestyle. Its something that I have been trying to do for years but so far it hasn't been successful. I'm talking about evangelism.

I've never been the type who would go up to strangers and start talking openly about Christ. There are people who can do it and I marvel at them. My mind cannot comprehend how they are able to speak with such authority and boldness. I seem to come up with more reasons why they shouldn't accept Christ instead. Thats my problem, see? Again, I try to reason out Salvation logically. There's no way to reason it out!

I think the problem I'm experiencing is that subconsciously, I'm making it my responsibility to convert the people I'm speaking to. Same with when I lay hands on people to be healed. Its like I'm trying to heal them or change them. Many of us are familiar with the verse in Romans 1:16.
For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek.

We often heard it said that we should not be ashamed of the Gospel but don't you think that it is weird that there is anything to be ashamed of at all? Why are we ashamed? When we look at the verse in Paul's context, we can see that he had reason to be ashamed! Persecution, ridicule from fellow Jews. Christianity was viewed as second rate. But in this day and age, in our multi-racial society of Singapore. What is there to be ashamed of? The Gospel or Good News is the Power of God to salvation. We should be proud of it!

Lets look at how Paul utilised this power in his ministry in the previous verse.
Romans 1:15
So, as much as is in me, I am ready to preach the gospel to you who are in Rome also.

We simply preach or to put it in a less threatening word, we speak of the Gospel. We don't have to spice it up or dilute it to "suit" the audience.
Romans 1:17
For in it (the gospel) the righteousness of God is revealed...

The Gospel. I so often have a hunger to see people coming to God. I long for the honor of being part of the miracle of 'Spiritual Rebirth'. But sometimes there are hindrances. Sometimes I feel as if I don't have the ability or the right to speak the gospel. But that right is given to every believer. So what other excuse can we give for not doing more?

God's righteousness is revealed when we speak. The pressure should not be on us to make our words powerful. The Gospel IS the Power of God! If we are truly convinced of what salvation means to us, then that alone is enough to speak of it to others. What is this fear that stops us from sharing? Is it personality? Our environment or society? Our upbringing? Culture?
This challenges me in my spirit. Do I really really REALLY know Christ? Isn't Jesus greater than all we lack? Do we need to script out the wonder of God's grace and mercy? I've all but started praying for God to bring me souls. I know what a heavy responsibility it is. I know if I simply ask for the opportunity to evangelise, God will be faithful and create them. But asking for opportunities means being able to step out of your personality and obeying Him. It may mean looking foolish for Him. Am I radical enough?

I want to be able to come to a point in life where I can look back and say, "I think I made a difference, I think I made an impact in people's lives."
Where people would exclaim that it MUST have been God working in my life. It is not possible that you did it on your own. Of course, one must ALWAYS be wary not to fall into the trap where you're striving for the honor and recognition of being used by God rather than simply being the instrument.

Patience and Perserverance, Daryl

Its good to be made to think. But its not good to be made to worry. There are things which I have to pray about. Not worry about. Because worrying will only cause white hairs. There are some issues that are valid. I have to take them into my prayer room. Different people have different callings. People specialise in different areas and prosper in different areas as God blesses their abilities. There are abilities which I should learn and develop. But just because someone isn't blessed in certain areas doesn't make them any less special or less 'called'.

I will not let myself be looked down upon just because I'm not as highly educated, highly qualified, well-mannered, intelligent or well-spoken. Thank God that He is my qualification.
Daryl, Servant of the Most High God.

I shudder to even think myself worthy of such a title. But the Word says I am made righteous! Its by His grace alone that I even have a chance in life. Not just a chance, but a opportunity to reign! (Romans 5:17-21)
To reign! I rule over the things in life because God has given me authority, through Jesus Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit. I obey, I study the Word, I do not falter and He makes me the head and not the tail. It means I am on top of things! Above and not beneath.
Lord... I earnestly desire!!!

to burn with zeal
1. to desire one earnestly, to strive after, busy one's self about him
2. to exert one's self for one (that he may not be torn from me)
3. to be the object of the zeal of others, to be zealously sought after

Jeremiah 1:17-19
But YOU, daryl, dress yourself for work. My work! Gird up your loins, prepare yourself, build yourself up! Arise and say to them everything that I tell you. Speak when "I tell you to speak. Obey when I tell you. Your obedient response sparks off the power.

Do not be dismayed by them, lest I dismay you before them!

Will you be affected by Me, influenced by Me, reliant on Me? Then forget them? My Word will prove itself. And I will make you strong, give you the ability to withstand and defend. Where ordinary people would normally be struck down, you will stand firm, unshakable. And you will be a pillar for others to lean on, to hide behind. Against ALL who come against you, against all who will fight you and try to prove you wrong. They will try to tear you down. But I am with you, to carry you out of harms way and to prove my Word to be true.

Jeremiah 5:14
Because you have spoken this Word, I am making my Words in your mouth a fire, a consuming fire

I'm so grateful for the sheer number of chances that God has given me to be encouraged and to minister to others. I just pray that I'll be able to speak the words of God and not my own opinions. Its seems so easy to speak from experience and distort what God says.

Here's what happened on the second day of the house visitation in Myanmar.

DAY 2
The amount of walking that we had done the previous day left me surprisingly tired out at the end of the day. I recognised it as signs of dehydration. It is equally as hot in Myanmar as it is here, but the difference is how dry the climate is. Thankfully, there wasn't as much walking in sun.

We made our way by taxi and trishaw to a house church located in the dried up fields. The sun was shining brightly but the air still maintained its morning coolness. We reached the house about an hour before they were scheduled to start. The family, made up of a couple and their 3 children, were all busy preparing in one form or another. The man, squatting beside a clay stove, was putting the finishing touches to the meal he had prepared for us visitors. His wife, having laid out the mat in the middle of the hut, had gone out to inform the neighbours that we had arrived. There was a child with a physical handicap in her legs and a speech impediment. But she was so cheerful and scooting around the hut giving us "massages" on our arms. There was another small girl who had just taken her shower and was changing in front of us. The 3rd child was an infant lying on the floor making cute sounds.

And so the 6 of us (3 from the Rhema team & 3 from the AoG church) sat down for lunch at the makeshift dining table, the rest of the family looked quizzically at us. The custom in Myanmar is for the guests to eat their fill before the hosts even start eating. Also because the table could not sit all of us at the same time. The food was quite good but I was having a slight tummy problem so I was eating as little as my conscience would permit and as much as my digestive system would allow.

We finally got started with the service almost 2 hours after arriving. We only found out at that moment that they desired us to speak to them. So we got the most senior of us to do the job, the only Rhema Alumni in the team, to do the job for us. Thank God for her because I wouldn't have any clue as to what to speak about. At the end of that session, there were 4 people who wanted to receive Christ.

Just at we thought that we could breathe a word of thanksgiving for the 4 souls added to the Kingdom of God, we were informed that the sunday school teacher was on the way to the house church and there was still a sunday school session. But the thing was, it wasn't sunday and the sunday school teacher would not be teaching. She was coming to hear us. So we had to frantically come up with another evangelistic topic to speak on. I got assigned to speak on the importance of the blood of Jesus.

Before we knew it, 3 more youths were added to the Kingdom and I was left speechless at how desperate God must have been to reach these people that He worked in spite of my limitations and unpreparedness. 7 souls added to the Kingdom that day. We were also asked to pray for the healing of several of them. I believe that they were blessed just by our being there. He really showed Himself to be faithful to His Word. All Glory to God!

Welcome to 2007. I'm really behind time in my journaling. I haven't even blogged about Youth Camp. I should catch up by this week. Should have my newsletter up soon too.

People have been asking me about resolutions, plans, paths and ideas. I answer these in typical fashion. I don't know. I don't have the specifics yet. All I know is that there is so much more to learn. So much to prepare for. I know that I need to continue in my focus on Him.

I need to read and study more. My current reading project is the "Autobiography of George Mueller". I'm also studying Jeremiah and Ezekiel in the bible. I pray that I'll be able to continue with this when the added load of school readings come in. Something good is happening though. Something exciting will happen this year. I know it!